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|Part 4: Guardian|
August 16, 2010
The fourth part of the non-canon, satirical fanon comedy crossover Clash of Worlds 3 was written by author . Clash of Worlds 3 involves a crossover with the stories Better World, , , Guardian, The Last Energybender, Wanted, , and .
Clash of Worlds 3 was deemed a definite third part of the popular Clash of Worlds series on Avatar Wiki's Fanon portal. Unlike the previous year, two new stories—Past, Present, and Future and Child of Destiny—which had been created after the first two Clash of Worlds were released, were added to the crossover. A general consensus was also reached on the plot of the series, therefore improving organization and planning.
Essentially, the hilarity continues all over the Fanon universes as the heroes and villains are sent to separate universes while trying to beat up Chen, who is fleeing everyone since he is too wimpy to deal with everything himself.
Fanon character yells at Chen.runs down the hall. "Get back here you sorry excuse for an Avatar!" every single
"You know, if I'm so horrible, how have you guys not caught me already?" Chen yells back.
"Wow, that's the first funny thing you've done all Clash" New Lee yells, jumping to catch Chen, but missing.
"Seriously, how am I even reincarnated into you?" Peter asks himself.
"Hey, I'm closer to him than you are!"corrects.
Chen runs pastin the hall, who is almost knocked over by the storm of angry Fanon characters who don't care about him either. Hai stops Tia, and pulls her to the side. "Tia, I think I finally know how to win your heart."
"Not another photo of me in the bathroom again, is it? We get that you're a stalker, alright?"
"No, this time, it's a math problem. You said you like math, right?"
"What would make you think that? Jeez... you're a horrible stalker then Hai. Go ahead, I'm clearly missing kill Chen hour."
"Speaking of Chen... It actually kind of involves him. I've actually figured out the precise mathematical formula to create another Clash!"
"You know, Kai, that's pretty impressive. How does it work?"
"It's actually Hai."
"Like it matters."
"Fair enough. You see, If you take the four elements, and put them over the number of elements Chen can bend very well, then you get a Clash! See, isn't it amazing?"
"Hai you douchebag!"
"You just divided by Zero! OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIII-" was all Tia could finish before a large purple vortex caused the Fanon hotel universe to collapse. The vortex expands and the Fanon characters catch a view of the expanding purple vortex.
"HHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI-" come the combined voices of the Fanon characters as they are sucked in the vortex as well.
Pathik, and Shaoshang land on the floor of the Fire Nation capital., , Hai, ,
"Hey, it's mommy's throne room," Mitsuki says, her head clearly hurting from her fall.
Katas, Lee, Pathik, and Shaoshang instead turn their attention to Bob. "And I thought I was a Clash wrecking douchebag. Jeez Greg, stop... well, breathing would be a good place to start." Lee says, scratching his head at the last moment.
"Well, since we can't find Chen, who wants to kill Hai?" Guru Pathik asks, uncharacteristically dark of him. Everyone looks at him for a second, and upon realizing that he was totally serious, nod in agreement.
Mitsuki, on her mother's throne, looks down and issues a decree. "From now on, Douchebaginess is a punishable crime by death! Seize the douchebag!"
"Go ahead, make my day!" Hai declares, assuming a fighting stance.
"You're not cool enough to use that line!" Shaoshang yells, breathing fire all over Hai.
"That's hot..." Hai says as he falls to the ground, burning.
"Who wants roasted marshmallows?" Pathik asks everyone, taking out sticks and sitting down to roast his own over Hai's burning body.
"I haven't gotten to eat since the last time I was in this palace!" Lee says as he takes on from the guru and sitting down. "I wanted to go to the IHOP, but this will do." The rest of the group sits and roasts marshmallows over Hai. After a few minutes, everyone takes a bite.
"Ew, it tastes like douchebag!" Katas exclaims as he eats his marshmallow. "Hey wait, since Fire Nation douchebag!" Katas pulls water out of the air and starts hacking away at Hai's body.aren't a real country, you're a
Mitsuki, Lee K., and Shaoshang all glance at each other before glaring at Katas. "You know that we're all from the Fire Nation, right?" Shaoshang growls at Katas.
Random field in the Phoenix Islands
"Jeez, we've been hammering away at them for one and a half books, and a frickin' math problem gets us into the central Phoenix Islands?" Mian whines.
"The grass is always greener on the other side." Bumi says with a chuckle.
"Ha, I this field could be an excellent battlefield for that ending battle in the Lotus War that we all know is bound to happen somewhere." Lu Ming says out loud. "Crap, the narrator is pointing out that I talk to myself!" Lu Ming still is talking to himself. "Shut Up!" Lu Ming yells into the sky before he clutches his chest.
"Oh no, is he having a heart attack?" Kaila asks.
"Well, it's either death or taxes," Bumi begins. "Or are you going to give him the Kiss of Death?"
"Listen King Cliché, you're giving all of us Kings a bad name," Lao begins.
"Listen, I'll fight to the bitter end!" Bumi replies. Lao gets angry, and all of the people who fell into the field erupt into a huge brawl, except Sokka, who is gazing into the sky.
"No, not again!" Sokka screams as he receives another vision.appears to him, floating in the sky.
"Sokka, I am here to [censored] you [censored] for [censored]ing the [censored]!"
"Jeez. If it wasn't for these authors I could have told you I was going to give you M. Night's plan for ruining the main series. But if you don't want it, than screw you." Kama's spirit replies, slowly fading away.
"Wait! I want it!" Sokka exclaims, hopping up and receiving a scroll Kama gave him.
"Oh. Now I'm gonna [censored] your [censored] until [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] your wolf-tail."
"AAAAHHHHH!" Sokka wakes up to find himself flailing around the ground in the valley. "I need to remember not to order the cactus juice inside giant purple vortexes."
Black Lotus Home Base
, Chen, , Peter, Choy and Wuoyan fall to the floor of the base.
"How'd we get here?" Lian asks.
"How'd ya tink' I know?" Wuoyan asks.
"We could just ignore it and have a joint..." Choy begins, rolling up a joint and lighting it up himself.
"Dat sounds like a gud idea." Wuoyan replies.
"Okay, you, blurry imbecile: You're not Joey Wheeler! And Fire ninja: no one wants to smoke a frikin' joint with you!" Lian yells,.
"'Kay, why do ya have tah be so pissy?"
"She's on her period. Trust me, you can't win." Peter whispers to the two. "I have that problem on occasion..."
"What?" Choy asks, having already taken a hit from his joint. "If she gives us any problems, we'll just eat her..."
"That seems a little more likeor " Mitros replies in shock.
"Who are they?" Wuoyan asks.
"You haven't been around long enough to know about them yet. You're just too new."
"I AM NOT ON MY PERIOD!!!!!!!!!" Lian begins screaming in the background.
"She really is..." Peter whispers to Wuoyan.
"Why do you people hate me like this?" Lian says as she begins crying.
"Great... Now we have to deal with this for the rest of the Clash..."
"Well, that was a good set," Ozai replies backstage to.
"What I'm wondering is, how did we survive the purple vortex?" Jiang asks. The moment he finishes his rhetorical question, a purple vortex appears and sucks the Phoenix Pair to a random location.
Ruins of Taku (PPF)
"Imagine trying to share a universe with him and have him steal your girl..." Mian moans.
"I had someone steal my girl. It didn't turn out well." Tengu adds.
"Come on, why am I stuck with all of these Airbenders? I'm the frickin' ruler of my world, and I'm the main antagonist of my whole series! Come on!"
"I would betray her any day..." Afiko mumbles.
Tengu takes out his Sansetsukon and smacks Afiko on his head. "Get a grip on yourself... On second thought, don't."
Some seedy Internet Cafe
"Boo yah! I got the Snapshot badge!"exclaims from his lone computer in the run down internet cafe.
"Shut up!" the cafe owner yells.
"Never!" Hoshizu replies, until his computer screen turns black. "NOOO!!! Now I'll never get the lucky 40,000th edit!" A face suddenly appears on screen, and it stares at Hoshizu.
"I am user Onaga123. I took the 40,000 edit from you. And now, I'll make it so that you'll never edit again!" the face says, revealing itself to be Onaga.
"You're Onaga? I'm scared!"
"What, did you think I was The Presence? No way!" Onaga exclaims as he has hands appear from the screen. The smokey hands grab Hoshizu and pull him into the computer, with him screaming the whole time.
Southern Water Tribe Mall (Phoenix Chronicles)
"Isn't this color of nail polish just so sparkly?" Slythrin asks his BFF.
"It is!" Tam Mee replies. "Quick question though..."
"How did we get here again?"
"I think there was a big purple shiny thing, and I got distracted." Sly replies.
"Oh. I remember that! It was shiny, and purple, and swirly!"
"It was almost as fun as the time I saw that one member of my committee get murdered! Wait... that wasn't very fun..." Sly remembers before he turned his head towards the Random Entries Store, a dark cloud appeared.
"Ohhh..." Tam Mee says as she saw the black cloud. "Fluffy..."
"I know, right?" Sly says before General Hoshizu falls out of the cloud.
"Do I get the 'Fall through a black cloud' badge?" Hoshizu asks into the cloud before it slowly vanishes. "Is that a no?" He looks up and sees Tam Mee and Slytherin with their fingernail sparkling. "I better get a badge for putting up with these two."
"Like, are the badges sparkly?" Tam Mee asks.
"I like sparkles!" Slythrin exclaims as he looks around aimlessly.
"Please tell me I get a badge for putting up with them..."
Western Air Temple (Child of Destiny)
Gyatso, , , and a few of the Dogs appear at the Western Air Temple., , ,
"This place is a good place to hide dead bodies of hookers..." Siwang notes as he looks around the temple.
"Dude, really?" Zura asks. "Is that all you ever think about?"
"Hey, at least when he wants someone dead, they die. Not like your entire country," one of the Dogs jokes.
While the people argue, Liang and Gyatso walk away and go into the room where Diyi was taken. "Gyatso, look what I found!"
"What is it?"
"I know who took Diyi!"
"Look, right here! It says that it was M. Night Shamalan!"
"I think that the heroes should kill him. I'm not black!" Gyatso exclaims. "I'm not!"
The wall of the room comes crashing down as Zura, Siwang, and two of the Dogs roll in fighting. "What are you doing?"
"I actually don't know." The first Dog says. Siwang throws him off of the temple, and into the canyon.
"Crap. I wanted to leave his body in some room here..." Siwang mumbles as he looks over the edge.
"You guys just can't enjoy being away from Hai, Lee Koisho, and Chen? Relax and enjoy some peace." Nero calls from outside. The characters ignore him as they begin fighting. "Okay. I'm going to find Lee so we can end this accursed Clash." Nero gets up and jumps off the cliff into a swirl of his own black fire, somehow transporting him into a different universe.
Ba Sing Se (Better World)
Giu, Des, Karno, and Kuwabara appear in Ba Sing Se. "What are we doing in Phoenix City?" Giu asks.
"Wrong city." Kuwabara retorts as she lies down on the ground and stares at the sky.
"I wish I could just crush her right now. She's making me wish Sa would strap another bomb to me." Des complains.
"Maybe that's why you weren't in the first two clashes" Karno says.
"You weren't either!" Des retorts, getting angry.
Giu is irritated. "I'm the only one here who was in the first clash. I think you all should shut up."
Jiang Rha and Ozai fall from the sky and land on top of Kuwabara. "Well, we don't have to worry about her anymore," Des adds.
"Hey, Jiang! It's a new audience!" Ozai announces. "Hit it! And I was like, Baby, Baby, Baby! OH! OH! Baby, Baby, Baby!"
"I wonder why I haven't killed him yet..." Jiang wonders out loud. "Get him! No Beiber!" The Fanon villains are ready to jump Ozai, when Freddy Krueger appears.
"You're not touching Beiber! Oh, wait. He's not here, carry on." Freddy says as he vanishes into thin air.
"Now we get him!" Karno yells, jumping Ozai first, before the others follow.
Same random field
Sokka runs down the side of the hill. "Guys! I've got something!"
The fighting between Lao and Bumi stops, settling the group down.
"I found M. Night's plan for the destruction of the Avatar universes!" Sokka says.
"Wow, he had a plan for that? I thought it was just poor directing."
"No, it's a huge plan! See, here it is!" Sokka unrolls the scroll given to him by Kama, and shows the group the whole thing.
"Wow... We need to kill him. How did we get distracted again?" Lu Ming asks.
"Wow, that old man doesn't realize that no one is listening to him." Zhao says, pointing out that Lu Ming continues talking to himself.
"Stop it!" Lu Ming yells into nothingness again.
"Shut up, Santa Claus. We're going to kill us a director." Mian says darkly.
THE FRIKIN' END
- The section header from the overview references the OVER 9000!!!! meme.
- Avatar, as said in all previous chapters of Clashes. is supposedly a horrible
- calls a stalker, a reference to the previous chapter. His name is also constantly messed up, another reference to the previous chapter, where no one gets his name correct.
- The four elements over the elements Chen can bend well is a reference to both Chen's lack of bending prowess, as well as the Divide by Zero meme.
- says he's "a Clash wrecking douchebag", referencing the fact that he started all of the Clashes.
- Pathik says that he wants to kill Hai, a clear 180 from his enlightened self.
- makes a law, referencing her powerful position.
- Hai says, "Go ahead, make my day," referencing the famous Clint Eastwood line. While burning, Hai utters Paris Hilton's catchphrase, "That's hot"
- references his hatred of the Fire Nation, akin to his hatred of the Fire Nation in Avatar: Guardian. He also references his death, and breaks the fourth wall in asking The Bos to stop his death by shifting locations.
- references , saying that he couldn't get into the mainland Phoenix Island for a full book.
- talks to himself, referencing his stereotype as a typical old man.
- Bumi speaks in Cliches, something pointed out by Lao by calling him "King Cliche".
- Sokka sees again, and she clears up what she had been censored from saying in the previous chapters. Sokka also talks about Cactus juice, something from the original series.
- calls Joey Wheeler, in a joke at his speech type.
- Part 1 where he is seen asking Zhao if he wants a joint. asks everyone if they want a joint, a reference to
- Peter references his having to deal with a hormonal Katara in the canon episode "The Chase". This is based on the joke that is on her period.
- Afiko continuously makes reference to betrayals, making one comment about how he hates Hai, and another while making a dirty remark at Azula.
- is a badge hound, referencing the Avatar Wiki badge system, which many of the Fanon Authors dislike. Hoshizu was picked to be the badge hound during and IRC conversation between many of the Clash authors, though it was forgotten until this chapter.
- Onaga says he isn't The Presence, referencing the from .
- Slythrin and continue acting like airheads, with Slythrin being constantly distracted by sparkles, shiny objects, and many thing teenage girls find entertaining.
- Western Air Temple, looking for a place to hid the bodies of dead hookers. This a reference to his obsession from the first few chapters, as well as his actual character in his canon series. is looking around the
- One of the Dogs references how Firebenders can never kill who they want to die without a lot of unnecessary chaos, getting Zura worked up.
- Gyatso find out that M. Night Shyamalan stole Diyi, parodying her mysterious disappearance. and
- Nero says he's finally enjoying some peace, something his character in the Clashes has been looking for, but he also says that it is constantly ruined.
- Many of the characters in were characters that were new to the Clash series, and they make fun of each other for their relative inexperience with Clashing.
- Ozai sings Justin Beiber's song "Baby", referencing his constant musical roles in the Clashes.
- Freddy Krueger appears, making another cameo like he did during the first 3 chapters.
- Sokka points out that M. Night had a plan for ruining The Last Airbender, and shows a chart. It references the ?, ?, PROFIT meme.
For the collective works of the author, go here.
|Clash of Worlds Chapters|
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7
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