|More from Vaznock||Comedy/Satire||PG-13||Positive||None|
|Part 2: Kyoshi Revolts|
August 10, 2010
The second part of the non-canon, satirical fanon comedy crossover Clash of Worlds 3 was written by author . Clash of Worlds 3 involves a crossover with the stories Better World, , , Guardian, The Last Energybender, Wanted, , and . The chapter takes on the one-shot interactions between characters and expands the plot.
Clash of Worlds 3 was deemed a definite third part of the popular Clash of Worlds series on Avatar Wiki's Fanon portal. Unlike the previous year, two new stories—Past, Present, and Future and Child of Destiny—which had been created after the first two Clash of Worlds were released, were added to the crossover. A general consensus was also reached on the plot of the series, therefore improving organization and planning.
The chapter, titled "Part 2: Kyoshi Revolts" for traditional reasons, was written by Vaznock. It took a bit less than 24 hours for the chapter to be written. Like its predecessor, it's length seemed to stem up problems. Vaznock decided to keep the length, in order to maintain a good balance between the use of certain characters, so as to not hurt feelings and mess up the part.
As tensions begin to rise among the villains, the heroes scramble to face them in time. However, problems begin to arise when a new iHop opens in town. The Heroes can't resist, so The Villains are given time to plot out the brutal murders of every fanon hero. Meanwhile, a fantastic brawl ensues between four people. But it's not the people you think.
The Villains' Motel
"Alright, as leader of this Villains convention, I hereby call this meeting to order!"yells, while bashing his fist across the table. Adjacent to him, were all the other villains, some of them undead, some of them alive, and some of them contemplating turning good *cough*New Lee*cough*.
"Hey, wait a minute, who died and left you in charge, Grandpa?"yells to Lu Ming from across the table.
"Ha, I mean seriously!" Afiko says, while getting out of his seat. He hunches his back, and pretends to be walking with a cane. "Oh, look at me, I'm Lu Ming. I have a bad hip and bones as old as the Queen of England, yet I still think I can beat the Avatar! I even-GAH!"
Suddenly, Mitros, Azula, and Afiko all scream in pain as an incredibly massive current of air comes over them. Lu Ming dissolves it after a few seconds, and allows the three to breathe.
"Anyone else want to question my authority here? Hm?" Lu Ming says to the other villains. They all shake their heads in terror, except for one fool.
"Um yeah, Lu Lu, I was just curious, are you a vegetarian?" Yi asks, while standing up. With a flick of his wrists, Lu Ming shoots a powerful current of air right into Yi's groin. "Gotcha." Yi mumbles in pain as he falls to the ground.
Suddenly, the door bursts open, and in walks Zhao, with a beaten up following.
"Sorry I'm late." Zhao says. "I was at an asylum, killing Princess Azu-" Zhao suddenly stops in his tracks when he sees Azula in front of him, donning royal clothing, the Fire Lord's crown, and a sleeve sign reading Supreme Fire Lord of All Things Existing.
"What were you doing?" Azula says, while giving Zhao a vicious glare.
"No-nothing, nothing important at all."
"No, really, tell me, I'm interested to hear who you were killing!" Azula says aggressively.
"Nobody...it was nothing." Zhao responds awkwardly, as he and Shaoshang sit down.
Suddenly, Waku, and all of The Dogs run in.
"You shall all feel our wrath!" Waku yells, with the dogs by his side. "Oh wait, I have flees." Waku stops, and begins scratching his neck with his toes.
"Ew...So, what's our plan!?"says, while bouncing up and down.
"Um...Mitsuki, don't you usually think of plans and stuff?"asks the princess.
"...What?" Mitsuki says, while staring lovingly at Nero in a complete trance.
"Lian, what about..." Des stops when he sees Lian in the same trance. "Okay, who the f*ck is the idiot who came up with the idea to make these two girls this horny? I mean seriously. These people can do all that crap, yet I don't even appear in the first two clashes!? I wish I could just go back home and cuddle with my blanky like I used to!" Des stops, as he sees all the other villains stare at him with wide eyes.
"Come on, we gots ta kill these villains!" Wuoyan yells, while walking alongside the other heroes.
"Ooh, but look, an iHop!" Kaila yells, while pointing to the restaurant.
"Oh f*ck no, not iHop." Tengu moans.
"What do you have against iHop?" Ray asks the Air Nomad.
"My mother and sisters were brutally executed in an iHop." Tengu responds.
Ray looks at Tengu awkwardly. "Um...how nice?"
"Yeah, we're going to iHop!" Ami says, while jumping up and down.
"Okay everyone, remember, stay with your roommate!" Pathik says, as they walk into the store. "If you don't, I will be forced to brutally murder you and perhaps even molest you." The kids take one step back, away from the creepy guru, as Pathik begins talking to himself.
"I want pancakes!" Chen says, while looking through the menu. "No wait, I think I also want waffles! Waffles... and toast! What about you roomie?"
Believe it or not, Chen's roommate was Tengu.
"I don't need anything. I don't feel like paying." Tengu responds dryly.
"Hey, but you said you'd treat me!!" Chen yells back to Tengu.
"Oh screw you." Tengu gets out of his seat, and punches Chen hard in the face.
"Hey, that wasn't very nice of you to punch Peter like that, Tengu!"says, while walking over to Tengu.
"That was Chen." Tengu responds.
"Oh...carry on." Zura says as he walks away. Tengu then proceeds to beat the holy living crap out of Chen.
"Chen, honey, no!" Kaila says, while running up to Chen. "Meh, forget it." She waves him off, and walks away, while Chen moans in pain.
The Villains' Motel
Meanwhile, all the villains begin to do "wacky" things. And no by "wacky things" I don't mean sex... or do I?
Mitsuki and Lian
"I just don't get it!" Lian says. "How could you be pro-choice!?"
"How could you have breast implants?" Mitsuki responds.
"Screw you..." Lian says. "Hey, I'm gonna go watch Nero shower. He always bathed at precisely 3:30 at the Black Lotus Base. Wanna come with?"
"F*CK YEAH!" Mitsuki yells. "And uh...how do you know what time he-"
"Oh, back in the Northern Water Tribe, I took a course on stalking." Lian replies. "How else do ya think I found the guy who sent an assassin after me?"
Tam Mee and Slythrin
"OMG, I just got a text from Ravena, who heard from Kanna, that Azula is gonna ask Mitros out! Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Tam Mee yells, while jumping up and down., who heard from
"Kill. Me. Now." Slythrin mutters to himself, while bashing his head against the table.
"Hey, hey Slythy, wanna pet my puppy!" Tam Mee says, while randomly holding a dog up to Slythrin's face.
"No, I'm allergic to dogs!" Slythrin yells.
"Really, well that's ironic." Tam Mee murmurs. "Hey, wanna try on my skirts. They would look so good on you! You have the perfect figure for them."
"I...I do?" Slythin says, flattered by the heiress. Suddenly, a smile begins to creep across his face.
Jiang Rha and Ozai
Ozai browses through his typical, horrible songs. But then, Ozai did the most unspeakably horrible thing he ever could do. Seriously, I am not joking:sits angrily on his bed, as
"Baby, Baby, Baby, Oooohhh..." Ozai begins singing. Jiang Rha screams in horror as Ozai began to sing a song from *gulp* Just Bieber!
"OH, HELL NOES!!!!" Jiang Rha yells as Ozai begins singing the song even louder. Jiang grabs a pole, and violently whacks Ozai in the face with it, knocking him out.
Zhao and Katas
Zhao and Katas angrily look at each other from across their beds.
"There is only one way for us to settle our differences..." Katas says.
"Yes." Zhao responds.
"PILLOW FIGHT" Zhao yells. He goes over to hit Katas, though the Waterbender instead drills an icicle through Zhao's skull.
"Oh sorry, I kinda thought we were having a sharp icicle fight of death...guess I was misinformed." Katas says awkwardly. "Ya know... you were just better off in the Daily Show."
"Oh f*ck you." Zhao mutters as he turns into nothing but smoke. "There's only so many times a man can die!"
Of course, someone would tell Zhao differently.
The Villains' Motel
Outside Lee Koisho and Nero's Apartment
While Nero showers, Lian looks through his window with binoculars, with Mitsuki besides her. Quanlee and Nikki are also with the girls.
"Oh yes Nero. That's right, keep showering." Lian says erotically.
"Hey I wanna see!" Mitsuki says, while snatching the binoculars from Lian.
"Wait your turn, slut!" Lian says, while pushing Mitsuki away. Mitsuki screams, and jumps on Lian, both of them clawing at each other's face.
"Wait a minute... is that my Dad?!" Nikki exclaims. "Lian, you took me to peak at my Dad!?"
"Ya know, I just realized, Lian is old enough to be Nero's mother in a way, while Mitsuki is young enough to be his daughter..." Quanlee mutters. "Jesus Christ, do all of these villains have sex disorders or something!?" With that, Nikki and Quanlee leave.
Finally, Mitsuki and Lian stop fighting.
"Okay, how about we both look at him at the same time?" Lian asks.
"Fine by me...stupid liberal."
"Oh f*ck you you conservative bi- Never mind, let's just peak together."
Unfortunately for Mitsuki and Lian, they were so busy fighting that they failed to see Nero leave the shower, and none other thantake his place. The girls take one quick glance through the binoculars.
"GAH! That's not Nero!" Mitsuki yells.
"NOOOOOO!" Lian yells in despair.
Lee looks through the window, and sees Mitsuki and Lian with the binoculars.
"Oh, so the ladies like the Lee-man." Lee says, while brushing his hair back. "Well if it's me they want, then it's me they shall have! Giggity...giggity...goo."
"So, Mian, how are you and Tia?" Mina asks the Avatar.
"She's with Hai." Mian responds.
"Oh, that's too bad." Mina says. "Uh...Wannahaveasexorgy?"
"I mean, wanna watch... Sesame Street? Um, yes, that sounds believable." Mina responds.
Suddenly, a scream is heard from the bathroom. Mian and Mina run over, and they see Kanna and Yugoda, with a rope tightly around her neck. Her body hung there lifelessly.standing at the door. Inside the bathroom was
"Hm...maybe leaving her on the same day as her mother left her wasn't the best idea..." Kanna realizes.
"OH MY GOD!!" Liang screams. "What are we gonna do!?"
"Please, don't worry. It's a clash. She'll be alive by the next part." Mian says, while walking out of the room.
Meanwhile, as the heroes prepare to leave, a group of fiveburst through the door and walk over to .
"Kuwabara, you are under arrest for the possession of marijuana!" The Head Firefighter,, says.
"How could I be arrested?" Kuwabara murmurs. "I'm just a kind, frail old woman." She gets up, though a small pack of pot falls from her dress. "Aw, f*ck you." She then proceeds to beat the shit out of all five Firefighters. "That's it kiddies, Kuwabara out!" She dashes out of the restaurant, hops into a car, and drives away.
"Come catch me bitches!" Kuwabara screams as the car zooms out of the parking lot.
"So, is everyone clear on the plan?" Azula says to the rest of the villains.
"...Uh, what plan?" Shaoshang asks, confused.
"You know, just because you start a sentence with 'So, is everyone clear on the plan', it doesn't mean you have a plan." Yino says.
"Screw you, you miserable excuse for a child rapist!" Azula retorts.
As Azula and Yino begin arguing, Mitsuki starts staring at Nero once more. Though, suddenly, she hears a sniffing noise near her. She turns around, only to see Lee sniffing her hair.
"Holy shit!" Mitsuki screams.
"Oh Mitsuki, you can't hide your undeniable love for me! I saw you and Lian watching me in the shower!" Lee says back to the princess.
"Go away!!!!" Mitsuki yells back to Lee. He gets up, and walks over to Lian.
"Um, Lian..." Des says, as Lee begins licking the back of her neck.
"Not now Des." Lian responds.
"Lian, really, I think you should-"
"Not now, dumbass. I'm trying to stare at Nero!" Lian says back to Des.
"TURN THE F*CK AROUND!" Des yells to Lian. Finally, she turns her head, and sees Lee, getting ready to touch her boobs.
"GAH!" Lian jumps out of her seat, and runs away from Lee.
"Dude, seriously. One of those girls is 14. Jesus Christ, I'm about to call Chris Hansen on your ass!" Yino yells to Lee.
Lee, of course, being the dumbass these three clashes have made him out to be, does not listen. "Lian, Mitsuki, you need to meet my mother!" Lee says, while chasing the two girls out of the room.
"Hey Slythrin, look at this." Tam Mee says, giving Slythrin her laptop:
- I was at the grocery shore shopping. I saw two old people, who were going through the meat section. The old man kissed his wife, and told her that he would always love her.
- -Old people making out GMH.
"Aww, that's cute." Slythrin murmurs. He looks up, and sees all the other villains staring at him in shock. Tam Mee was slowly but surely hypnotizing the poor terrorist. "I mean...f*ck you for showing me that Tam Mee!" The villains then nod in approval.
Suddenly, the door shoots open, and in walks a fat - I mean big-boned man.
"My name is...Phoenix King Whodafuckyoulookingat." The man says, while bouncing up and down.
"Sorry, but there's a weight limit at this motel! Haha!" Dragon King Lao says, while going up to poke the Phoenix King's belly.
Suddenly, the Phoenix King begins to shake his up and down and scream. Suddenly, he jumps up, and smashes his body on Lao's head.
"Dude that's sick!" Gao yells as the King's head is smashed by the fat king.
"In all my years of serial killing I have never seen something so atrocious!" Siwang yells. "Oh wait... never mind."
"Alright, now that we're down with iHop, it's time that we kill the villains, and protect M. Night Shyamalan at any cost!" Chen yells.
"What?!" Sky yells at Chen's declaration. "I'm fine with killing villains, but protecting that donkey-f*cking piece of dog shit?!"
"Hey, the effects of his movies are pretty good-"
"JUMP HIM!" Peter yells. The heroes then proceed to brutally beat Chen up... again.
Meanwhile, one hero stays in the restaurant. It was BW Sokka, who was having one of his usual "visions".
What Sokka saw was an old lady. Suddenly, music begins playing in the background. "Hey baby." Kama says to Sokka in his vision. "Wanna watch me be naughty?" Kama then proceeds to pick up a pineapple, and then begins to [CENSORED] it in her [CENSORED] while [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED] and licking [CENSORED] with her [CENSORED] [CENSORED]. ...Poor Sokka.
Lian and Mitsuki's Room
Mitsuki and Lian dash into their closet, and quickly shut the door. Mitsuki lights up the room by creating a bit of blue flame in her hands.
"Finally, we're away from that-"
"Hey ladies!" Lee says. Mitsuki and Lian turn, and see Lee's face staring back at him. Next to him was a short, fat old woman with large glasses. "This is my mother!"
"Oh, so these are your girlfriends Lee? Well, they're gonna need some fixing up!" Mitsuki and Lian scream, as Lee's mother begins to "fix them up", while talking in her loud shrill voice. Yeah, just imagine her sounding like Mrs. Potato Head.
At that moment, Nero walks up to the closet. Hm, should I help them? He thinks back to the day when Lian and Mitsuki first fought over him, and then killed them with all their stray attacks. "Ya know what - screw you two!" Nero yells to the screaming ladies in the closet.
Waku, The Dogs, Azula, Whodafuckyoulookingat, Lu Ming, Mitros, Zhao, Afiko, and the other villains stand in front of the motel, as the wind blows.
"Deploy the Mecha-Koisho!" Lu Ming orders. Siwang and Gao click a button on the machine, and the robot comes to life.
"Yes, mwahahaha! Once we kill these villains, I'll steal their money, and I'll finally be able to buy myself K-9 Advantix!" Waku yells happily.
Just then, a disheveled Mitsuki, Lian, and Lee Koisho walk over to the other villains.
"Lee, did you rape them!?" Zhao yells.
"No, his mother practically did though." Lian says.
"I know, she... she... she gave us... abstinence rings!!" Mitsuki screams. She and Lian begin crying into each other's arms. "And they won't come off!"
"Well ladies, have you learned your lesson now?" Nero asks the two girls.
Suddenly, Lian and Mitsuki begin to look at Nero darkly.
"You're the reason this happened!" Lian yells.
"What!?" Nero yells, in a defensive tone.
"Let's kill him...again!" Mitsuki shouts. "Truce?"
"Truce." The two ladies shake hands.
"Oh screw you. You and your retarded foreign sounding user name!" Nero says, before running away from an angry Lian and Mitsuki.
"Now, it's time for the epic battle between heroes and villains!" Azula bellows. "It's time for my wretched son to DIE!"
As Azula begins going crazy, Mitros takes a quick glance at Slythrin's hand. "Um, Slythrin, why are your nails...pink?!"
"Because Tam Mee says I look super adorable with it on me!" Slythrin yells back.
Rebel City Ruins
Kuwabara jumps out of her car, while talking on a cell phone.
"No I can't sell the pot to you today. The cops are on my tail. I'll meet you at the airport." Kuwabara says before hanging up her phone. She suddenly stops in her tracks, as she sees a woman standing ahead of her. It was Kama.
"There's only room for one crazy old lady in this town!" Kama says.
"Then I guess we'll duel it out!" Kuwabara shouts. Suddenly, another old woman arrives.
"Not without me!" Shouts a "Mrs. Potato Head" sounding voice: Lee's mother.
The three old women look glances at each other, and prepare for the fight. Kuwabara pulls out a bloody feather duster, Kama whips out a purse full of hard candy, and Lee's mother pulls out daggers in the shape of fake dentures.
"Hey, don't start the fight without me..." Not a single woman was familiar with the voice, but I'm sure you guys are. "...Lobsterheads!"
Writing and Production
As it was in the clash, Part 2 employs a more casual sense of humor. It did not retain the classical dry comedy that its predecessor evoked. The chapter was originally supposed to be much longer and contain every single original fanon character from each story. This was inevitably impossible, and many characters were dropped. Vaznock generally had trouble coming up with ideas in the beginning, especially with the heroes. However, as the chapter expanded, ideas began to flow, and cliffhangers were left at the end for the successors of Part 2.
Many jokes and references to the original Clash series, as well as the character's specific stories, are used. Des appears bitter, due to the fact that he has not yet appeared in a clash. Mitsuki and Lian continue to harbor their feelings for Nero. Lee Koisho's crush on them was originally supposed to be expanded, but Vaznock decided the length was getting to be too much. Quanlee and Yino both mention the conflicting ages of certain characters, which leads to Yino throwing in one of the part's few pop-culture references, involving "pedophile catcher" Chris Hansen. Visual humor was also evoked within the chapter through three images involving The Dogs, Firefighter Karno, and the Unnamed Phoenix Chronicles King, respectively.
Yugoda's suicide evoked Vaznock's own personal views on her character biography. In Past, Present, Future, she was abandoned by her mother and best friend on the same day. However, Vaznock did not want to eliminate her as a character entirely, and made sure to have Mian say that she'd be back by next part, siting the ridiculousness of life and death within the clash. Another recurring joke is shown between Jiang Rha and Ozai. Ozai begins singing a Justin Bieber song, to which Jiang Rha knocks him out. This was created due to the writer's own disliking of the pop singer. Tam Mee also mentions the 'LoveGivesMeHope' site. Vaznock decided to include the cheesy old people story bit after noticing that an unusually high amount of the posts were about old people love.
Pop-culture references were thin, though there were a few. Katas tells Zhao that he should go back to being on the Daily Show, as Zhao was played by Daily Show actor Aasif Mandvi in The Last Airbender. The dirtiest joke of the chapter was almost certainly Sokka's vision of Kama, which was humorously and heavily censored due to the atrocities of what she was doing. However, most notable of the chapter was certainly the return of Shiungi, who was an incredibly popular character in the original clash. The idea of her getting reintroduced was an easy cliffhanger and gave enough room for the part's successors to come up with new ideas involving her.
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|Clash of Worlds Chapters|
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7
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